Goldilocks

By David Sanchez

Once upon a time Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen of the Three Bears’ house. She was impressed by the matching set of dishes and glasses, as well as the stainless steel cutlery. There were three bowls set out on the table filled with oatmeal, and not just any oatmeal – the really good steel cut oats from Gelson’s. How the bears had such good taste, she thought. She tried Papa Bear’s oatmeal first – too hot, though the bowl it was served in was really nice, she thought. Same with Mama Bear’s oatmeal – the bowl was nice enough, but the oatmeal was too cold. Next she tried Baby Bear’s oatmeal. The bowl matched those of the parents and luckily for Goldilocks the oatmeal was just right.

Next she walked over to the living room and slid her fingers on the shelves of the bookcases, admiring and mentally comparing the books she’s yet to read with the books she and the Three Bears have read. She walked over to a nice black pleather recliner – too hard. Must be Papa Bear’s, she thought. She walked over to Mama Bear’s loveseat. Cute color, she thought, but too soft. And inevitably she reached Baby Bear’s recliner and ottoman combo. One sit in it and she was sold. Just right.

Finally she made her way to the beds. Papa Bear’s California king size bed was too hard. You have to wonder about him, Goldilocks thought. Does he have no feelings? Mama Bear’s vintage-inspired day bed was too soft. Baby Bear’s bed was, as expected, just right. And with that Goldilocks went into a deep slumber.

***

When she awoke, Goldilocks saw not three bears, but three burly security guards accompanied by two store clerks in yellow polo shirts with blue trim.

“This is the third time this week she’s come in,” the first clerk said. “We’re trying to run a respectable business, not a flophouse.”

“Ma’am, either buy something or don’t bother coming back,” the second clerk said, his eyes stuck to his iPhone as he texted his girlfriend about his day at work.

“OK, lady, let’s go,” the more amiable of the security guards said as he took Goldilocks by the hand and out of the bed. The uncomfortable feeling of many pairs of eyes made her shrink in embarrassment. Goldilocks was given a copy of the latest IKEA catalog to hold her over as she was escorted out of the store.


DaveDavid Sanchez lives in Pasadena and works in subtitling. He has been previously published in the Rio Grande Review and Poetry Motel. Whenever he is not writing David loves music, cycling, and coffee.

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